If you’re married and say you’ve never wondered if your husband tipped outside the marriage for sex, you’re not being honest. We all know men are attracted to women – especially sexy women. Men are visual beings and it’s their nature to look and turn their head and look back at a woman they find attractive. Just because your boo chose to put a ring on your finger doesn’t mean his attraction to sexy women diminished. He simply made a commitment to you and you have every right to expect him to keep his commitment. Sex shouldn’t be the most important aspect of marriage, but sex is important to a man – married or not. Sex is almost like medicine to a man and if they don’t receive the correct dosage (whatever their specific dosage is) they tend to act a little off – irritable if you will. Are you giving your husband sexy sex or submissive sex? There’s a difference! Read the below snippet from the book that’s making a difference in the lives of singles and married couples titled, The Bite of Pleasure by Eddie L. Fray
The Frustrated Man
There is a difference between a sexy woman and a woman who has sex. A sexy woman is in tune with her sexuality and the expressions of such. She has an appetite for sexual pleasure and enjoys being the object of affection and desire. She is uninhibited by life’s non-sexual challenges. Sexual intimacy is at the forefront of her mind. Her sexuality is the embodiment of who she is; she owns it and wears it like a sweet-smelling fragrance. Due to her own desires, sexual gratification is a priority in her life.
On the other hand, the woman who has sex out of duty, obligation, or solely for personal needs stifles bilateral desire. Also, if sexual desire is unilateral (one-sided) the other side will walk away unfulfilled. Although the sexual encounter between the two may be explosive, it does not erase the craving of the man to be with a sexy woman.
Back Door Psychology
David J. Ley Ph.D.
What is with the male fascination with heterosexual anal sex, anyway? Men seem to fantasize obsessively about anal sex, hundreds of porn movies are made every year that fetishize anal sex, and women everywhere debate whether they should or shouldn’t have anal sex with their boyfriend or husband, while men discuss how to convince their female partners to give it a try. When women do have anal sex, the overwhelming majority, do so at the request of their male partner. So, why? What does anal sex mean?
Heterosexual anal sex has been around for millennia. Paintings and etchings from Japan, China and Europe all depict men performing anal sex on women, as do ancient erotic drawings, sculpture and pottery from the Mediterranean and South America. In some Polynesian cultures, anal sex was practiced explicitly as a means of birth control. Today, some adolescents regard anal sex as a means to prevent conception, regardless of increased risks for transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. Over the past decades, heterosexual anal sex rates have climbed. In the Fifties, anal sex was reported by fewer than fifteen percent of the population. Modern overall rates suggest that around a third of men have performed anal sex on a woman, and slightly fewer women have received anal sex. The rates are still higher in sexually active adult in their twenties.
But, for married and committed couples, where disease and pregnancy aren’t a significant concern, how can we explain the prevalence of the male fascination with anal sex? Men are sexually interested by variety, but aside from this, there is no relevant evolutionary argument, as anal sex of course produces no heirs.
Anal sex, and a desire for anal sex, serves different purposes for men. The strongest, and most common argument that men voice, is that a woman who will engage in anal sex is inherently arousing to a man. Such a woman, in embracing anal sex, is embracing it with no intent or possible result of pregnancy – it is sex, at its rawest. For a man, anal sex with a woman is her allowing him to play Star Trek, and venture into uncharted territory. Even if it is not where no man has gone before, it is still something novel, uncommon, and special in its rarity. A woman engaging in anal sex shows her desire and willingness to have sex in a purely physical way, with no thought of pregnancy. She is embracing, to some degree, a willingness to make her body a sexual object. Some research suggests that women who engage in anal sex report having more orgasms, not necessarily during anal sex alone, but in their overall levels of sexual activity. The overall conclusions are that the women who are willing to engage in anal sex tend to be more adventurous, more sensual, more relaxed in bed, and thus, more orgasmic.
To read the article in its entirety, purchase the current issue of TOW, Born To Create
Hot off the press! Purchase and read The Other Woman on any device!
Rosie L Shedrick
You never know what life lessons the brain will grasp and in the 64 years I’ve been married, I’ve learned quite a few. My husband, as a young boy watched his mother suffer and struggle to provide for ten children without a husband. In the 1940s and 50s, without running water and electricity, having survival skills was crucial. Many days he nnd his siblings went hungry and without necessities.
Because he grew up in severe poverty, he said his family would never have to live like that. He was strict on our three daughters and enforced education. He said, “If they don’t like me, it’s okay.” He was going to ensure they had life skills for success. He also refused to allow his wife to struggle like his mother had to. He joined the Navy and he didn’t want me to work so I didn’t. It was a joy to be able to stay at home with our three girls without depending on daycare or a babysitter. On paydays, he handed me his check. I was a thrifty shopper and always went to the sales rack. With three daughters, I learned how to do hair which later became my profession. When the girls were older and I decided to go to work, my husband told me the money I was making was mine. Yes, I know I had it good. To have a husband with a priority to protect and provid for his family is worth more than gold.
As a wife, I never had a want or need for anything. I never had to worry about food, money, bills being paid, clothes for the children and definitely not for myself. My cup has been running over for 64 years. Don’t get me wrong, nothing is perfect. Some of those life lessons have been through the good, the bad, and the ugly in our marriage.
It is with tears that I share my heart with strangers and promised anonymity. The Other Woman Magazine is full of encouraging words to live freely, but free is foreign to me. I want to be free, but I don’t think I’ll ever be. The articles I’ve read in past issues may be the reality of others, but they can’t be everyone’s reality; they sure the heck aren’t mine.
I’m in an eighteen-year marriage and I want out. The ongoing quarantine has revealed that we’re sadly comfortable with extended periods of silence between us. When we do talk the topics are just general BS about family, bills, and work. There are no intimate conversations, and the only laughter is if we’re watching a television show together.
Is this what the rest of my life is? Is this how middle-aged marriage is supposed to turn out? If it is, Mother Mary help me. Maybe I’m making a big deal over nothing. If this is normal, then I guess I’m okay, but who defines normal? What makes it okay to leave? How in the heck do women just pack up and leave a marriage they’ve been in for decades?
My fear is regretting the last half of my life because I didn’t acknowledge what I’m feeling inside. That’s it, right? Live without regrets? We’re in our fifties which are supposed to be golden years. What makes them golden? I feel like I’m stuck. I’m drowning. I’m suffocated by my own life. I can’t breathe! I know marriage is about the good and the bad times until death do us part, but I feel like I’m dying of a slow death. There is so much time invested in the marriage and our families are so connected, but what about what I feel? Am I being selfish or should I be selfish for my happiness? I’ve always done what I wanted to do, but I feel like I’m looking for an escape route. I want out! I don’t have the courage to tell my husband how I really feel, so I’ll most likely just stay married and…be married.
I. AM. STUCK.
Why won’t I leave? I don’t have a reason to leave, I just don’t want to be married anymore. I want something else – not someone else, just something different for my life. I often wonder if my husband feels the same way. Probably not. Men are good for going to work and sitting in front of the TV waiting to be fed like an aminal in a zoo. Well, I don’t want to be a zoo keeper for the rest of my life. I’m not unhappy with my husband, I’m unhappy with my life. I just don’t want to be married anymore.
Maybe I just found my answer. It’s not my marriage. Maybe I should be happy regardless of my circumstances. If happiness is truly within, I’m the one who needs to find another level of water in my pool of pity. For those women looking for a man to make you happy, stop looking because you gotta make your own self happy. Marriage isn’t the answer.
I refuse to believe there isn’t a man out there for me. I’m in my late 40s and I refuse to give up. I’ve never been married, but I’ve had a few serious relationships which amounted to nothing but stress, headaches, and sometimes tears. Does being in a relationship have to be so difficult? At my age, playing mind games should be over and done with. I just want to settle down with loyalty and commitment.
The men I’ve been involved with were good men. I would have never given them my time if they weren’t, but once sex was in the picture, they changed. All the sweet-talking, dinner dates, and good morning texts dwindled to a slow drip unless I initiate.
I understand getting comfortable in a relationship, and that’s a good thing, but I feel borderline neglected. I guess they figure they’ve got me, so they don’t have to try so hard. Well, I don’t operate like that. When I give my body to a man, that is saying I’m all in – I’m yours and I’m committed. The last guy was like night and day after sex.
I’ve been told that men are hunters and chasers. Once they hunt you, chase you down and conquer…they move on to the next chase. They like the excitement and the challenge of the chase and conquer game.
Well, I refuse to help any man build his ego or use me for his convenience or trophy case. I come to the table offering a lot more than my body. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting the love and respect I give to be reciprocated.
Because of my frustration, I’ve decided to take a vow of celibacy. Sounds crazy to do at my age, but how many more times do I allow a man to enter my body then exit my life? They may not leave physically, but they sure are missing in action in the relationship.
I don’t blame anyone except myself. I’m the one setting myself up for hurt by giving my body to men who haven’t made a commitment. They do just enough to keep me around, but I will not settle. Because of these experiences, I now know my worth better than ever.