All posts by candypublishing1

Yes, Mistress

Mrs. Keiko

Through a slit in the living room curtains, I could see the back of a tall, slender, blond man knocking at my door. He was wearing black overalls. “Lawn care solicitor,” was my immediate assessment…the third one this morning. “Hello?” I tentatively called out to the stranger through the still-closed door. “Hello,” he answered, with an equal note of caution in his voice. “I’m looking for Miss Keiko. Does she still live here? I came by to see if she’s okay.” It had been 12 years since I had last heard that voice. I opened the door, and standing before me was my submissive Tom, smiling a warm embrace for “Miss Keiko,” his Domme and my “other woman.”
A Domme is a female who takes the superior or Dominant role in a Dominance/submission (D/s) erotic play session or relationship. A submissive takes a subordinate position. Twelve years before, Tom eagerly submitted to my dominance, and I controlled all aspects of our play sessions.

The last time he came to my home, written instructions greeted him:

  1. Knock three times, and then enter.
  2. Remove your belt.
  3. Strip naked.
  4. Neatly fold your clothes and stack them on the floor by the door.
  5. Hold your belt with your teeth.
  6. Get on your hands and knees.
  7. Lower your head.
  8. Crawl to my room. He addressed me as only as “Ma’am,” “Mistress,” or “Miss Keiko.” I called him whatever I liked. Tom and I shared great respect and affection for one another. In his article “The Surprising Psychology of BDSM,” Joseph Magliano, Ph.D. cites a 2015 study of 1,500 men and women which found, “64.6 percent of women and 53.3 percent of men reported fantasies about being dominated sexually – and 46.7 percent of women and 59.6 percent of men reported fantasies about dominating someone sexually.” Chances are you or your partner have entertained the idea of engaging in this kind of play. Go for it!
    I became involved in the BDSM lifestyle more than 15 years ago when I sought to broaden my relationship options. I wanted someone who could handle my alpha personality, someone who appreciated my ability and desire to lead. Ultimately, I wanted someone with whom to create delicious, kinky memories, the kind that would make me smile when I recalled them while rocking in my rocking chair when I get old.
    Surprisingly, weak men do not like being dominated in the bedroom. Their egos will not allow them to assume a submissive position, so they often take on an air of exaggerated masculinity to compensate for perceived social and or economic impotence. Conversely, men who routinely make executive decisions often relish the opportunity to release control and submit to an Alpha female. As the owner of a successful, demanding, and expanding small-business, Tom makes critical decisions all day, every day. However, when we were together, all he had to do was obey.

Tom and I drifted apart after other priorities overshadowed what we shared. I invited him inside, and we played catch up. He is now a cancer survivor. He told me he treasures the time we spent together. He has something to smile about too. When he spotted two clothes pens on my coffee table, he mischievously offered, “I wonder what you could do with those.”

Sex Changes Everything

I refuse to believe there isn’t a man out there for me. I’m in my late 40s and I refuse to give up. I’ve never been married, but I’ve had a few serious relationships which amounted to nothing but stress, headaches, and sometimes tears. Does being in a relationship have to be so difficult? At my age, playing mind games should be over and done with. I just want to settle down with loyalty and commitment.
The men I’ve been involved with were good men. I would have never given them my time if they weren’t, but once sex was in the picture, they changed. All the sweet-talking, dinner dates, and good morning texts dwindled to a slow drip unless I initiate.
I understand getting comfortable in a relationship, and that’s a good thing, but I feel borderline neglected. I guess they figure they’ve got me, so they don’t have to try so hard. Well, I don’t operate like that. When I give my body to a man, that is saying I’m all in – I’m yours and I’m committed. The last guy was like night and day after sex.
I’ve been told that men are hunters and chasers. Once they hunt you, chase you down and conquer…they move on to the next chase. They like the excitement and the challenge of the chase and conquer game.
Well, I refuse to help any man build his ego or use me for his convenience or trophy case. I come to the table offering a lot more than my body. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting the love and respect I give to be reciprocated.
Because of my frustration, I’ve decided to take a vow of celibacy. Sounds crazy to do at my age, but how many more times do I allow a man to enter my body then exit my life? They may not leave physically, but they sure are missing in action in the relationship.
I don’t blame anyone except myself. I’m the one setting myself up for hurt by giving my body to men who haven’t made a commitment. They do just enough to keep me around, but I will not settle. Because of these experiences, I now know my worth better than ever.

Are You Living Or Existing?

It’s a complete waste of time to try to speculate the life of a woman. While publicly living her life, there is another life force residing in a secret state within her heart and mind. A life force waiting to be unleashed. A life force wanting to use her voice and perhaps make a few decisions which go against the standards society has placed on HOW a woman is SUPPOSED to act.

Sure, we all have responsibilities in life, but don’t lose your SELF under the many hats you wear. Don’t suffocate under titles and labels. Don’t just endure life, live and enjoy your life. UNLEASH that life force waiting to be set free. FREE THE OTHER WOMAN! Be FREE to be YOU!

Meet The Other Woman

Have you met The Other Woman? She’s more a part of your life than you realize! Grab a cup of coffee or tea, maybe a pint of ice cream or your favorite healthy snack, and peruse through the blog posts written by women just like you. As you read, please consider sharing YOUR story! We all have a story and some have already had an encounter with the other woman. When we have the courage to unmask and share, we are empowered and realize…YOU ARE NOT ALONE!