Through a slit in the living room curtains, I could see the back of a tall, slender, blond man knocking at my door. He was wearing black overalls. “Lawn care solicitor,” was my immediate assessment…the third one this morning. “Hello?” I tentatively called out to the stranger through the still-closed door. “Hello,” he answered, with an equal note of caution in his voice. “I’m looking for Miss Keiko. Does she still live here? I came by to see if she’s okay.” It had been 12 years since I had last heard that voice. I opened the door, and standing before me was my submissive Tom, smiling a warm embrace for “Miss Keiko,” his Domme and my “other woman.”
A Domme is a female who takes the superior or Dominant role in a Dominance/submission (D/s) erotic play session or relationship. A submissive takes a subordinate position. Twelve years before, Tom eagerly submitted to my dominance, and I controlled all aspects of our play sessions.
The last time he came to my home, written instructions greeted him:
- Knock three times, and then enter.
- Remove your belt.
- Strip naked.
- Neatly fold your clothes and stack them on the floor by the door.
- Hold your belt with your teeth.
- Get on your hands and knees.
- Lower your head.
- Crawl to my room. He addressed me as only as “Ma’am,” “Mistress,” or “Miss Keiko.” I called him whatever I liked. Tom and I shared great respect and affection for one another. In his PsychologyToday.com article “The Surprising Psychology of BDSM,” Joseph Magliano, Ph.D. cites a 2015 study of 1,500 men and women which found, “64.6 percent of women and 53.3 percent of men reported fantasies about being dominated sexually – and 46.7 percent of women and 59.6 percent of men reported fantasies about dominating someone sexually.” Chances are you or your partner have entertained the idea of engaging in this kind of play. Go for it!
I became involved in the BDSM lifestyle more than 15 years ago when I sought to broaden my relationship options. I wanted someone who could handle my alpha personality, someone who appreciated my ability and desire to lead. Ultimately, I wanted someone with whom to create delicious, kinky memories, the kind that would make me smile when I recalled them while rocking in my rocking chair when I get old.
Surprisingly, weak men do not like being dominated in the bedroom. Their egos will not allow them to assume a submissive position, so they often take on an air of exaggerated masculinity to compensate for perceived social and or economic impotence. Conversely, men who routinely make executive decisions often relish the opportunity to release control and submit to an Alpha female. As the owner of a successful, demanding, and expanding small-business, Tom makes critical decisions all day, every day. However, when we were together, all he had to do was obey.
Tom and I drifted apart after other priorities overshadowed what we shared. I invited him inside, and we played catch up. He is now a cancer survivor. He told me he treasures the time we spent together. He has something to smile about too. When he spotted two clothes pens on my coffee table, he mischievously offered, “I wonder what you could do with those.”