I refuse to believe there isn’t a man out there for me. I’m in my late 40s and I refuse to give up. I’ve never been married, but I’ve had a few serious relationships which amounted to nothing but stress, headaches, and sometimes tears. Does being in a relationship have to be so difficult? At my age, playing mind games should be over and done with. I just want to settle down with loyalty and commitment.
The men I’ve been involved with were good men. I would have never given them my time if they weren’t, but once sex was in the picture, they changed. All the sweet-talking, dinner dates, and good morning texts dwindled to a slow drip unless I initiate.
I understand getting comfortable in a relationship, and that’s a good thing, but I feel borderline neglected. I guess they figure they’ve got me, so they don’t have to try so hard. Well, I don’t operate like that. When I give my body to a man, that is saying I’m all in – I’m yours and I’m committed. The last guy was like night and day after sex.
I’ve been told that men are hunters and chasers. Once they hunt you, chase you down and conquer…they move on to the next chase. They like the excitement and the challenge of the chase and conquer game.
Well, I refuse to help any man build his ego or use me for his convenience or trophy case. I come to the table offering a lot more than my body. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting the love and respect I give to be reciprocated.
Because of my frustration, I’ve decided to take a vow of celibacy. Sounds crazy to do at my age, but how many more times do I allow a man to enter my body then exit my life? They may not leave physically, but they sure are missing in action in the relationship.
I don’t blame anyone except myself. I’m the one setting myself up for hurt by giving my body to men who haven’t made a commitment. They do just enough to keep me around, but I will not settle. Because of these experiences, I now know my worth better than ever.