Alexandra Adou
The challenge of online dating was an endeavor that had me straddling a fence a few years before I decided to venture into new waters. Online dating always came across as inherently impersonal, decidedly risky, and honestly quite desperate. As I matured and evolved, I became more self-aware and confident as a woman. Online dating became a means to view alternative dating. It allowed me to somewhat determine who I attracted to me and the type to whom I was attracted. I began online dating by initially joining a couple of dating sites.
It became almost a full-time job assessing profiles, weeding out the crazies, talking to the possibilities, and then making cuts until I found two or three gentlemen who appeared promising, and could hold my attention and interest. I initially communicated with these gentlemen via the online dating protocol. When I felt sufficiently comfortable, we exchanged phone numbers and began speaking with each other via telephone for a few weeks.
As I felt more comfortable, I would arrange a coffee meet-up. If things didn’t go well there was a quick and easy get-away. If there was a gentleman, I was interested in seeing again, I would agree to another public date that led to an extended conversation that would allow us to get to know each other better. If this date went well and I wanted to see him again then I would request a security background check from one of the many online services to learn more personal information and discover if there was a criminal record.
I maintained this routine for about three years with several companies such as Christian Mingle, Zoosk, Elite Singles, Match, eHarmony, Ourtime, and several other now-defunct sites without much success. Sadly, I often met men who weren’t seeking a long-term commitment or scammers. However, one day I found a local dating site called Atlanta Matchmaking and requested a consultation. After explaining their policies and process to me I decided to join the club and paid their very expensive membership fee. After securing access to the private members-only database, I responded to three requests that interested me. Since everyone in the database had already been highly vetted, I began phone conversations with the three gentlemen right away for about a month before arranging a coffee meet-up with them.
The meet-ups went very well and were followed up with additional platonic dates over the next eight weeks. During this period, I was actively assessing which of these men I wanted to date, exclusively. One gentleman displayed a truly beautiful spirit and really opened his heart to me more than the others. I decided to focus all my attention on this one special man. I wanted to get to know him better. Our relationship steadily grew into a healthy connection and respect for each other. Within a year, we fell in love and ’Jumped the Broom!’
After traveling the world as an armed service member, meeting people from all walks of life, I was pleasantly surprised to find my God Mate in the city where I lived. Three years later, I’m still happily married.